Here is a short piece that I wrote about criticism:
Prov 11:12 (KJV) He that is void of wisdom despiseth his neighbour: but a man of understanding holdeth his peace.
There are only two things that people criticize: 1) that which they do not understand, and 2) that which they would not do themselves. A person lacking skill, then, will be critical of others because of that which they lack. How much easier it seems to be to despise, rather than understand! What is the root of this despising or criticism? It is laziness. People too lazy to seek understanding will immediately criticize others that are doing something. Those who are too lazy to put their own hands to the plow will unbridle their tongue to spew venomous words about their neighbor. “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.” From the depths of the heart come the words of criticism. It is only through submission to Christ that one will be diligent in seeking understanding. Developing the skill of discernment and understanding does not come without effort. Our human nature desires to speak out, to want to be heard, to let others know how we feel. The spiritual man, however, desires wisdom and understanding. The spiritual man must train his tongue to be silent and listen. The spiritual man must incline his ear to hear, and then discern what is being heard. The spiritual man will not react to what he perceives with his natural senses; rather, he will discern in spirit the depth of the situation. Commit today to guard your heart, and not speak on a matter until you have understanding. Begin to imagine the difference that even one person can make, and be that person today.
What are your thoughts about this?
7 comments:
This is very good advice. I appreciate constructive criticism but it’s so difficult to give it properly. I think it takes a special quality and lots of love to do that and I admire those with that ability. I fear most are as you describe here.
Let me add a third option. People often criticize in others the things that they battle in themselves. I'm guilty of that rather more often than I care to admit, especially in areas that I've "conquered." It's odd, really. You'd think compassion would be the instinctive response, having gone through a similar struggle. I guess it's the same thing that makes ex-smokers so self-righteously overbearing to current smokers.
Pacis obeo
I started to disagree with you and then came:
Developing the skill of discernment and understanding....
That is of utmost importance.
I have been taught that if someting about another or some occrance bothers you you should ask of yourself why it bothers you.
What does that mean, what is the message to me? As Dorsey said, you may well find it in yourself, the message is to change yourself. Life is a mirror to see ourselves. We do not always like waht we see, so - discern the message and apply.
Gary
Ron,
Thanks for stopping by my blog the other day. You give me a lot to think about.
Thanks and God bless, Joe
I am a terrible criticizer. I always come off as condemnatory. It has been a fault I have tried to overcome for sixty years (I started when I was 3).
"...you should ask of yourself why it bothers you."
that's good. "why am i having such a strong reaction about this?" is perhaps more important than "what do i think about this?"
the latter question is reactive. the former question is introspective. reassessing why we think about something can help us to be honest with what we think about something.
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